I have for the first season ever become an American Idol junkie. My pick was Brooke White. My favorite qualities of hers were her sincerity and raw honesty. How can you not love that?
She sang "Let It Be" on the 1st Beetles week and my husband teased me that I think "she" wrote the song :)
I must say at the risk of being a cheese this performance moved me. It spoke to my soul. With everything I have been learning on this journey in this post August 17th world it just really hit me. In particular the line, "in my times of trouble Mary Mother comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be..."
I remember learning Christmas of the significance of Mary's words here. I remember learning how to really imagine culturally she was facing some pretty horrific consequences with her pregnancy but her response wasn't in the natural, she wasn't focused on what awful things could happen to her being a pregnant woman before being married... Her response was in FAITH. It hit me like it never has this Christmas. What an incredible response of faith. I loved learning that this past Christmas. I have heard the Christmas story SO many times growing up in the church and I never GOT that part. And, then after what has happened with Carter... I have tried so hard to understand it but it is not to be understood. I am not God. I took a lot of peace from, "Let It Be". I would sit up nights after the twins were born terrified I would lose them. And, this resopnse of faith is the example I needed. Let it be as you have said, what a measure of faith to live up to! I was inspired!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k68_t4yOQSQ&feature=related
I could write an entire other blog entry on her authenticity...
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I saw what I saw...
I have wanted to blog this since January...
I Saw What I Saw by Sara Groves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY
I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
"I saw my sister leaning into Carters casket, weeping and smiling she was brushing his hair, straightening his clothes"
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
"I heard my sister wailing from the deepest part of her belly while in the bathtub, several of us waited downstairs, it was the saddest sound I have ever heard..."
I know what I know and I can't deny it
"I know that God allows 17 month olds to die unexpectedly and even more shocking--it happened to my sister and her family, denying it doesn't work..."
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
"How could this not cut me to my soul..."
Your pain has changed me
"Jenny's pain, Jon's pain, Chelsea, Jon, Hailey..."
your dream inspires
your face a memory
"Carters face..."
your hope a fire
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of(what I am made of)and what I know of love and what I know of God
"to see Jenny and Jon praise God at Carters funeral, do I know that kind of love to my Heavenly Father, to see her church family surround her, do I know that kind of love, to see her family grow stronger, do I know that kind of love, to see Jenny embrace my joys in my life even in the midst of her pain, do I know that kind of love..."
we've done what we've done and we can't erase it
"in every tragedy the devil attacks us with what if... what if I held Carter more in July..."
we are what we are and it's more than enough
"we are God's children, his love is more than enough, how do I embrace that love even knowing this"
we have what we have but it's no substitution
"we have memories of him pictures but that is not enough..."
Something on the road, touched my very soul
"I'm scared to death that I will loose one of my babies now I know it does happen."
I say what I say with no hesitation
"I'm scared"
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
"I must remember they are God's children in my care"
I do what I do with deep conviction. Something on the road, changed my world
I Saw What I Saw by Sara Groves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY
I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
"I saw my sister leaning into Carters casket, weeping and smiling she was brushing his hair, straightening his clothes"
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
"I heard my sister wailing from the deepest part of her belly while in the bathtub, several of us waited downstairs, it was the saddest sound I have ever heard..."
I know what I know and I can't deny it
"I know that God allows 17 month olds to die unexpectedly and even more shocking--it happened to my sister and her family, denying it doesn't work..."
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
"How could this not cut me to my soul..."
Your pain has changed me
"Jenny's pain, Jon's pain, Chelsea, Jon, Hailey..."
your dream inspires
your face a memory
"Carters face..."
your hope a fire
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of(what I am made of)and what I know of love and what I know of God
"to see Jenny and Jon praise God at Carters funeral, do I know that kind of love to my Heavenly Father, to see her church family surround her, do I know that kind of love, to see her family grow stronger, do I know that kind of love, to see Jenny embrace my joys in my life even in the midst of her pain, do I know that kind of love..."
we've done what we've done and we can't erase it
"in every tragedy the devil attacks us with what if... what if I held Carter more in July..."
we are what we are and it's more than enough
"we are God's children, his love is more than enough, how do I embrace that love even knowing this"
we have what we have but it's no substitution
"we have memories of him pictures but that is not enough..."
Something on the road, touched my very soul
"I'm scared to death that I will loose one of my babies now I know it does happen."
I say what I say with no hesitation
"I'm scared"
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
"I must remember they are God's children in my care"
I do what I do with deep conviction. Something on the road, changed my world
Busy Addict
Hi, my name is Julie and I am addicted to "busy". I blame my society as a whole. Aren't we all busy addicts. We wear "busy" like a badge of honor. "How are you?" "Busy, Busy, Busy" we respond. I dont' really blame culture but want to put on the table that I am not alone :).
Busy with work.
Up until last summer, I worked part time with my husband. When I think about the insane amount of board commitments, marketing plans and phonecallsI would attempt to make in a day I realize I was INSANE. It never occured to me I was insane until after I finished this season of my life. I am so glad I am out of the sign business... But, that is another tangent.
Busy with kids.
IT is so tempting to enroll Zachary in piano lessons, karate and swimming this summer. I seriosuly have to restrain myself and pick one activity. It's so American. More is better. It's strange because I obviously tripled the number of kids I have but enjoy a much more still life of late.
Busy socially.
I used to think bigger is better, the more the merrier don't leave anyone out. I think I unofficially feel I am a social director at times (that is an actual personality label in one of the many personality tests I love...). The problem is I own others feelings at times with this. I am also an approval addict :)
All this being said, my prayer is that I can learn to Be Still more often. And, be strategically busy.
It reminds me of 1 of the 1,000's of conversations I have had with my sister Jen. The twins were just a few months old and I was feeling cabin fever and chatting with Jennifer... We were covering the normal hopes, dreams, fears - we microwave when it comes to deepness and I love that. Anyways, we were both expressing our "boredom" with our routine. And, yet we found this so interesting because I had a "plethora" of babies and yet she was in lack. (Another post this is why Jennifer is a hero of mine, she never diminishes pain and helped me to rid of my false guilt...) Anyways, almost in the same breath we hit on the verse in phillipians about learning contentment.
"...Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." (Phil 4 :11-13)
We both expressed our desire to learn contentment in plenty and want... It was a God moment for us both. It was so beautiful to me that though she was in want and I was in plenty we could bond over God's word and pray for eachother in our bitter and sweet journeys to gain contentment in the stillness and in the busy.
"
Busy with work.
Up until last summer, I worked part time with my husband. When I think about the insane amount of board commitments, marketing plans and phonecallsI would attempt to make in a day I realize I was INSANE. It never occured to me I was insane until after I finished this season of my life. I am so glad I am out of the sign business... But, that is another tangent.
Busy with kids.
IT is so tempting to enroll Zachary in piano lessons, karate and swimming this summer. I seriosuly have to restrain myself and pick one activity. It's so American. More is better. It's strange because I obviously tripled the number of kids I have but enjoy a much more still life of late.
Busy socially.
I used to think bigger is better, the more the merrier don't leave anyone out. I think I unofficially feel I am a social director at times (that is an actual personality label in one of the many personality tests I love...). The problem is I own others feelings at times with this. I am also an approval addict :)
All this being said, my prayer is that I can learn to Be Still more often. And, be strategically busy.
It reminds me of 1 of the 1,000's of conversations I have had with my sister Jen. The twins were just a few months old and I was feeling cabin fever and chatting with Jennifer... We were covering the normal hopes, dreams, fears - we microwave when it comes to deepness and I love that. Anyways, we were both expressing our "boredom" with our routine. And, yet we found this so interesting because I had a "plethora" of babies and yet she was in lack. (Another post this is why Jennifer is a hero of mine, she never diminishes pain and helped me to rid of my false guilt...) Anyways, almost in the same breath we hit on the verse in phillipians about learning contentment.
"...Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need." (Phil 4 :11-13)
We both expressed our desire to learn contentment in plenty and want... It was a God moment for us both. It was so beautiful to me that though she was in want and I was in plenty we could bond over God's word and pray for eachother in our bitter and sweet journeys to gain contentment in the stillness and in the busy.
"
Back to blogging...
So, I started this blog quite some time ago. I think right after the last post I got pregnant with twins and now they are 8 months old and I am back again :)
I love my title. I have ENDLESS tangents and over analysis of just about everything that God Bless my husband he usually absorbs daily. I continue to journal but with all that has happened in our family from my twins to Carter and being inspired yet again with Jen's blog. I am recommitting to blogging :)
I love my title. I have ENDLESS tangents and over analysis of just about everything that God Bless my husband he usually absorbs daily. I continue to journal but with all that has happened in our family from my twins to Carter and being inspired yet again with Jen's blog. I am recommitting to blogging :)
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