I have wanted to blog this since January...
I Saw What I Saw by Sara Groves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSdP6PqsbJY
I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
"I saw my sister leaning into Carters casket, weeping and smiling she was brushing his hair, straightening his clothes"
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
"I heard my sister wailing from the deepest part of her belly while in the bathtub, several of us waited downstairs, it was the saddest sound I have ever heard..."
I know what I know and I can't deny it
"I know that God allows 17 month olds to die unexpectedly and even more shocking--it happened to my sister and her family, denying it doesn't work..."
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
"How could this not cut me to my soul..."
Your pain has changed me
"Jenny's pain, Jon's pain, Chelsea, Jon, Hailey..."
your dream inspires
your face a memory
"Carters face..."
your hope a fire
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of(what I am made of)and what I know of love and what I know of God
"to see Jenny and Jon praise God at Carters funeral, do I know that kind of love to my Heavenly Father, to see her church family surround her, do I know that kind of love, to see her family grow stronger, do I know that kind of love, to see Jenny embrace my joys in my life even in the midst of her pain, do I know that kind of love..."
we've done what we've done and we can't erase it
"in every tragedy the devil attacks us with what if... what if I held Carter more in July..."
we are what we are and it's more than enough
"we are God's children, his love is more than enough, how do I embrace that love even knowing this"
we have what we have but it's no substitution
"we have memories of him pictures but that is not enough..."
Something on the road, touched my very soul
"I'm scared to death that I will loose one of my babies now I know it does happen."
I say what I say with no hesitation
"I'm scared"
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
"I must remember they are God's children in my care"
I do what I do with deep conviction. Something on the road, changed my world
2 comments:
Almost too sad to comment. Yes you can't forget it, but you can survive it and you can make yourself a better person from it. Nope, never forget it, never get over it, never stop loving, but keep on living each day like it may be your last. Cliche, but very very true.
Wow! Thanks for making me take a minute to stop and enjoy my life at this moment...a baby that needs fed, a toddler that is yet again getting into something he is not supposed to be messing with...my life is an incredible blessing and I am thankful for every part of it!
LIVE life to the fullest.
LAUGH every chance you get.
LOVE with all that you have!
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